Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgement. It can have devastating effects on mental health, leading to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and even depression. This article explores the concept of gaslighting, its signs, and its impacts, supported by scientific research.
Understanding Gaslighting
The term “gaslighting” originates from the 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation, where a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her reality by dimming the gas lights, and insisting she is imagining it. Gaslighting involves a pattern of behaviour aimed at undermining an individual’s reality, leading them to doubt their own perceptions and beliefs (Stern, 2007).
Signs of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can manifest in various forms, from subtle undermining remarks to outright denial of facts. Common signs include:
1. Denial of Reality
- Blatant Lies: The gaslighter tells obvious lies, creating a distorted reality for the victim.
- Contradiction: The gaslighter denies statements or events that the victim knows to be true (Abramson, 2014).
2. Manipulation of Perception
- Distortion of Facts: Twisting or distorting facts to fit the gaslighter’s narrative.
- Minimisation: Downplaying the victim’s feelings or experiences, making them seem irrational or overly sensitive (Stark, 2007).
3. Undermining Confidence
- Undermining Beliefs: Repeatedly questioning the victim’s memory or perception of events.
- Isolating from Support: Suggesting that others do not believe or support the victim, fostering dependency on the gaslighter (Calef & Weinshel, 1981).
4. Emotional Manipulation
- Projection: Accusing the victim of behaviours or feelings that the gaslighter themselves exhibit.
- Confusion and Disorientation: Using conflicting information to create confusion, making it difficult for the victim to trust their own judgement (Dorpat, 1994).
Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health
Gaslighting can have severe psychological effects, leading to various mental health issues:
1. Anxiety and Depression
- Chronic Stress: The constant doubt and fear generated by gaslighting can lead to chronic anxiety.
- Depression: Feeling powerless and unable to trust oneself can result in depression (Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 1994).
2. Erosion of Self-Esteem
- Self-Doubt: Continuous questioning of one’s reality can erode self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Sense of Worthlessness: Victims may feel worthless or incompetent, doubting their abilities and judgement (Abramson, 2014).
3. Cognitive Decline
- Impaired Memory: The confusion and stress caused by gaslighting can impair memory and cognitive function.
- Decision-Making Difficulties: Difficulty trusting one’s judgement can lead to indecisiveness and impaired problem-solving abilities (Stern, 2007).
Identifying Gaslighting in Relationships
Gaslighting can occur in various types of relationships, including romantic, familial, professional, and social. Recognising the signs early can help individuals protect themselves:
1. Romantic Relationships
- Control and Domination: One partner consistently undermines the other’s reality to maintain control.
- Isolation: The gaslighter isolates their partner from friends and family to increase dependency (Sweet, 2019).
2. Familial Relationships
- Parental Manipulation: A parent may gaslight a child to maintain control or hide abusive behaviour.
- Sibling Rivalry: Siblings may use gaslighting tactics to manipulate family dynamics in their favour (Abramson, 2014).
3. Professional Relationships
- Workplace Bullying: Colleagues or supervisors may gaslight to undermine an individual’s performance or reputation.
- Power Dynamics: Gaslighting can be a tool for maintaining power imbalances in professional settings (Sweet, 2019).
Coping Strategies and Seeking Help
Dealing with gaslighting requires awareness and support. Here are some strategies to help cope with and address gaslighting:
1. Documentation
- Keep Records: Maintain a journal of events, conversations, and behaviours to track inconsistencies and patterns of manipulation.
- Gather Evidence: Collect tangible evidence, such as emails or messages, that support your perception of events (Calef & Weinshel, 1981).
2. Seek Support
- Talk to Trusted Individuals: Share your experiences with friends, family, or therapists who can provide an outside perspective.
- Join Support Groups: Engaging with others who have experienced gaslighting can provide validation and coping strategies (Dorpat, 1994).
3. Professional Help
- Therapy: A mental health professional can help you understand the dynamics of gaslighting and develop strategies to regain your confidence and autonomy.
- Legal Advice: In cases of severe manipulation or abuse, legal advice may be necessary to protect your rights and wellbeing (Stark, 2007).
Conclusion
Gaslighting is a harmful form of psychological manipulation that can severely impact an individual’s mental health and sense of reality. Recognising the signs of gaslighting and understanding its effects are crucial steps in protecting oneself. By documenting experiences, seeking support, and consulting professionals, individuals can counteract the damaging effects of gaslighting and rebuild their confidence and mental wellbeing.
References
- Abramson, K. (2014). Turning up the lights on gaslighting. Philosophical Perspectives, 28(1), 1-30.
- Calef, V., & Weinshel, E. M. (1981). Some clinical consequences of introjection: Gaslighting. Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 50, 44-66.
- Dorpat, T. L. (1994). On the double whammy and gaslighting. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 14(3), 268-289.
- Stern, R. (2007). The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life. Morgan Road Books.
- Stark, E. (2007). Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life. Oxford University Press.
- Sweet, P. L. (2019). The sociology of gaslighting. American Sociological Review, 84(5), 851-875.